Meeting people on the internet... (and elsewhere)

I have been wanting to make this rant for some time now. It's been on my mind, but I haven't necessarily figured out WHERE to blog it.

I want it read, but I sort of don't want it read. I will blog it here since I figure most of my friends don't know about this site. As I didn't tell them, and it's not linked on any of my pages, as far as I know. (With so many free webpage accounts, it's difficult to keep track of everything).

Let's start from the beginning, I have made my life on the internet long before most of you have, so I have wisdom when it comes to meeting people online and some insight.

Please realize that whatever you post on your myspace, xanga, livejournal, blogger site is available for ANYONE to see, not just your friends. Complete strangers, including myself.

Also realize, that I spend most of my evening browsing blogs, personal sites, profiles. This does not make me a creepy stalker type. This the most comfortable way for me to meet people.

Of all the creepy people actually on the internet, I should not be a threat to you.

(By the way, the evening news has often talked of the threats of stalkers on the internet. I'm serious when I say this, stalkers on the internet only cover a tiny tiny tiny portion of the internet community. But it's those stalkers that give the rest of us a bad name. You're at more of a risk of being stalked at the store or the park than on the internet).

I don't go to bars. I have a select number of friends, which are as social as I am. I don't get to meet new people all that often.

If I run into you in the "real world" and you may perhaps know one of my friends, I will mention that I have seen your myspace page, or read your journal, or seen your blog.

I have noticed that when I mention this, usually, they instantly become closed off to me, as if I had intruded on space of theirs that was not meant for me to cross.

But please realize, that if I mention that I liked your site, then something about you was memorable enough that I could relay it in the real world. That's a compliment of sorts.

In today's society, with the identity crisis everyone is having, the best compliment there can be is, "I remember you."

If you don't want people to read your blog, there are privacy settings on your accounts so that only those you choose can read. Figure those out if you want to be kept private.

But everyone please realize that the internet is available to anyone! This is a new age where we're not limited to meeting people strictly to bars and social gatherings.

Especially for me. I hate the bar scene ("sup bro! 'nother shot of yeager?"), and I'm generally not too social in gatherings. The internet is great to meet someone because everyone has little advertisements of themselves. Their thoughts and opinions are out there for anyone to read. This could give me fodder for possible conversation.

It's akin to reading reviews of movies, or seeing previews on the tele. Nobody would go to the theater and buy a ticket to a movie they've never heard of, nor have any clue as to what it's about.

In that same sense, I do not pick up on chicks that I don't know much about.

You know what? I'm going to change pace on this and not leave it strictly to the internet. Everybody needs to stop being so damned private!

I have noticed that it's very difficult to meet people unless the social situation is right. For some reason a girl in a bar can be comfortable enough to go up to any stranger and start making out with them, and go home with them with very little conversation between the two.

Granted, drinking lowers inhibitions and people tend to do what they feel when drunk rather than thinking about the situation. BUT if drinking were not limited to licensed locations, then would it be easier to meet people at say, the mall? The grocery store? At the gas station?

I don't think so. Most people will be in "busy mode" when running errands, and only get into "social mode" while at a diner or bar where humans are supposed to interact with each other. I would call this social closedmindedness.

I have strong confidence, so I don't need a drink to meet people. I can strike up conversations with strangers, and try to on an often enough basis. And I don't bullshit about the weather, or what new event has taken place. I will get this new friend into a deep conversation, something that we'll both value and learn from.

This is who I am. This does not make me a creepy stalker type. After the conversation, they will go their way, I'll go mine. I do not follow them to their house, rape them and hold a pillow over their face until they stop breathing.

Seriously, that's not my style.

I like to help people, in whatever little way I can.

I have gotten yelled at by strangers for trying to help. I'm straight forward with all my actions, and generally don't imply something else (sex) in trying to help.

I hold the door open for people, women especially. This does not mean that I'm trying to sleep with them.

Everybody feels so damn violated.

I am approaching my late-twenties. I am single with no prospects of a wife anytime in the future. Everyone I know is getting married and having kids.

In a sense, I have given up on looking for a mate. There is still that "human desire" to be with someone, but I'm not the type to sleep with anybody I meet, so I get out those frustrations and passions in my strange music.

I am celebate, but not by choice. It just happened. So instead of raising a family, I find my happiness in helping other people. I'm just tired of everybody yelling at me for it.